1. |
Inspiration
02:25
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You ask me where I get my inspiration
You ask me as if you really think I'll tell you that
You think that my beauty comes from
Some sort of frustration.
You wonder who I think about and
Why it sounds so sad
How naive of you to think that I would let
You know all my deepest secrets just like that
I tell you, darling, I can't really tell you.
Cause if I tell you I would have to kill you right away
But, oh, my love, I couldn't possibly kill you
Because then my inspiration will just fade away
How naive of you to think that I would let you go just like that
Well, honey, close your eyes
And just lay back down
Don't move any of your body
Try to feel your ground
And just let your mind get wise.
Now would be a perfect time for me to tell you
Where to get your inspiration
But to be honest I just love looking at you
when you're lying down there like this.
It makes me feel really inspired
It makes my mind go wild.
Now feel your eyelids becoming heavy
We are falling asleep.
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2. |
Maggie
02:59
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Maggie wears her dirty shoes
She wears them inside out
It makes her feel like she's the earth
She tiptoes, makes no sound
Maggie paints her humble truth
She paints in black and white
It makes her feel like she is worth
The strokes of tender light.
Maggie lives beneath the sky
A deeply rooted tree
Her leaves are always red with shy
Her branches wild and free
And she fills the heavy rain
Taking in god's tears
Growing bigger from the pain
Sheltering her fears
Maggie walks the time and miles
Her shoes still inside out
She walks to find the truth and lies
Of our kind father's doubt
Maggie Kindsfather's doubt
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3. |
The One With Sin
03:29
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All my sorrow for tomorrow
I will finish by today
I'll imagine all the horror
Make it a less surprising play
When you come to break my fillings
I will be prepared to fight
I won't melt and I won’t cry
I will hold my head up high
I won't let you stab me from the back
I will turn around and smile and
That's the pay you'll take
You can wash my brain but still
My heart will sing 'cause
I’m the one with love
And you're the one with sin
You're the one with sin....
All the brokenhearted people
Living in this world agree
Down on your knees and weeping
Is the worst where you can be
Crying lets the demons out but
Also takes away your soul
You should take the lead and
Don't let anger take control
Don't you lose control...
My heart is still a bit sore from
The way you left it there
Longing for more
What'd you do that for?
I've been there before
Love shouldn't be such a choir
I'll take my last bit of strength and use it for
Holding open my door.
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4. |
BugBomb
03:49
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There's a rat living in my basement
Every time I see it, it is getting bigger
And I bet it's feeding off my worst nightmares
I know it's eavesdropping
Eating out my life.
No bug bomb could ever kill my fears
I know now I'm my own enemy.
But when I close my eyes all that is gone
Cause when I close my eyes I'm all alone
I'm all alone
In the darkness of my own world
I'm all alone
Behind the bars of my mental ward
I'm all alone... I'm all alone...
There's a cat I keep overfeeding
I'm afraid that she won't like me otherwise
She'll get fat and sick and I'll be feeling
Guilty like I always do.
Story of my life.
I'm my own enemy
I'm all alone
No one could kill my fears
It's eating me alive
I'm a bug bomb
I'm a bug bomb
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5. |
Going Mad
02:47
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You've got all these new friends
You've got all this new life
And you've got them without me
You've got them without me
I try to feel dense
And I try to look nice but
My life is behind me
My looks don't define me
And I'm going mad
I'm going mad, I'm going mad
I just wanna drop my head
I wanna take off my crown and break down
Break down
Break down
You were all of my light
Then you ran out of sight
Now I wonder in darkness
I wonder in darkness
I wonder all night
Searching for something right
Because my hopes are reckless
My fears are just spaceless
And I'm going mad...
I'm gonna keep on going mad
'Till I'm ready to facet empty bed
And I'm gonna keep on being sad
Till I wake up one morning and you are gone
From my head
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6. |
Lover
03:57
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Lover, what have you done to me
You’re so cruel
Your love hurts, sharpens my teeth
Clenched my fists. I’m an angry fool
My eyes used to see the world
Now they only swirl around you
My mouth used to say my thoughts
Now I save my thoughts to spare you
The time it takes to understand
How to love me back
The time it takes to understand
How to not let this love of ours wreck
We wreck
I used to believe we would grow old together
But we have outlived and outgrown each other
Oh lover, take your desperate grip
Off of my throat, let me breath
Lier. Said you’d take a sip
But you drank the blood out of my veins
Till I was done with
They say love’s a two-way street
Well, I’m down and stripped
How about you?
They say you will come around
Well I’ve been around and I’m through
With the time it takes for you to get
How to love me back
The time it takes for you to get
How to not let this love of ours wreck
We wreck
I used to believe we would grow old together
But we have outlived and outgrown each other
Now it’s time for me to go
And it’s time for you to go
It’s time to go
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7. |
Flying Bird
03:40
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My baby is a flying bird
I cannot catch his mind
By day he puddles in the dirt
But at night he shows me the light
He takes me up to the sky where we
Fly...we fly...we fly...fly...
We fly amid the blinding clouds
We crash into by coming planes
We fall into the ocean waves
We taste the salt with our lungs
And we die...die....we die....die...
My baby is a flying bird
Too wild for this ground
I'm hanging in his every word
Slowly losing what I found
I thought he could not fly without me
I thought I could not die without him
But it's a lie...it's a lie...such a lie...a lie...
But in my dreams we still gather
To look at the sky where we
Fly...fly...we fly...we fly...
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8. |
Dreamer
03:27
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She was a girl who lived apart
From everyone else in the world
Her heart was cold
She was her own god, her only devil
Only reason to be a part
Of this delirious world
She was always sleeping
but never asleep
She was dreaming of finding
Someone she could keep
She was trying to answer
The questions in her head
From all the years
All the nine lives that she has had
She was admired, but her admirers
Would always stay away
Afraid to fall
Her eyes, to die for
Were always filled with tears
But she smiled anyway
She thought she'd fool them all
She was always told
her beauty was the key
But he could never find the doors
To fit it in so she could be free
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9. |
Monkey
03:25
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Look at me- see the princess
Come near me. Break the distance
Come closer. Don't avoid me
Just because I look so lonely
I'm tired of being your monkey
Of trying to get you to like me
But I can't control it, it's calling me
I am begging you look at me
I noticed you find me pretty
But when you say it, It sounds like pity
I want you to look inside me
See how my world can get exciting!
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10. |
7am Manhattan
02:27
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7am, I am on a train to work
I am, you are,
He, she, it is very very very tired
Too tired to walk and too tired to talk
Too tired to make a not tired look
Every other person
Has their eyes closed
All the open eyes
On this train are lost
Too tired to breathe
Too tired to live
To go to work
Get it over with
Those who think are thinking of quitting
Those who sleep are dreaming of leaving
Those who stand are longing to sit and
Those who sit are happy to sit
This is all very very sad
I know they all would rather be in bed
And it's now 7:30am
You are, he, she, it is and I am
And a happy shiny voice appears on the announcer:
Ladies and gentlemen, we are delayed because of train traffic ahead of us. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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11. |
The Ice Cream Song
02:45
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I walk alone walk alone walk alone
Walk alone walk alone walk alone
I stop at an ice-cream truck
And take a chocolate cone
And I feel like I'm 11
but I look like I'm about 18
People look at me and smile
Like I'm something they have never seen
But oh oh oh oh oh
How I wish that among these people
I would see your beautiful face
You would see me and stop me
I'll tell you that you got me
And my heart would get warm
And my ice-cream would melt
And suddenly I'll feel like I am in the right place
I would suddenly feel like I am in the right place
I will finally feel like I am in the right place
As soon as I will see your face
As soon as I will see your face
The eyes in my head
see the world going mad
Still I keep on walking ahead
The sky is falling down on me
The world is turning flat
And all the people that surround me
Start a panic, don't know what to do
And I feel like I should run away
Or hide inside or start a panic too
But all I can think about is...
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12. |
Be A Bee
03:43
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Did you know that when a bee stings somebody it'll die?
Even of all other bees thought it was a hero
Why, oh why, oh why couldn't you have been a bee?
Did you know that mosquito bites make your body more immune?
Even if it really hurts you become much stronger.
Why, oh why, oh why couldn't you've been a mosquito?
And did you know that when pigeons crap
And it lands right in your head
You supposedly will get lucky with some money?
Why, oh why, oh why couldn't you have been a pigeon?
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13. |
Done
02:51
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I look at you and I see a man who's gonna take me far
As long as I don't look behind and open up my heart
And I don't wanna go too far from my own home
But I wanna see where you live
And I don't see no other way than to change my day
and simply try to believe
Well I was scared of being alone
And I was waiting for my life to begin
I was gonna buy myself a future
But I gave all my money to some butcher
Who then chopped me up into little pieces
And gave it all into fucking recess
And I'm done
I look at you and I see a friend
Who's gonna stick around
But I'm so confused I'll probably be
The first to live the ground
And I don't wanna say it but I think I'm insane
Hearing what I just said
And I think I should stop now and
Save all my bullshit for the next set.
Well, this is how my life passes me by.
I'm here and I screaming but I'm living a lie.
Don't wanna lose the fight before I start it
My fridge is full but I am starving
When I look at you I get excited
WTF am I still doing hiding?
I'm done...
I will make my way out into
The beautiful wild and
Walk myself into the light
You, please help me make my way
Into the beautiful light and
Walk me straight into the light
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14. |
Sick Desire
02:27
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It makes me ache to see you kiss
it makes me sick to hear
How much you live and miss
How innocent, how clear
It makes me ache to see you touch
The power striking through you
The power of all that makes you march
Through world, that lives just for you
It makes my world completely mad
The envy taking over
The love of which I only read
In books, but seen it nowhere
I wanna love the way you do
I wanna feel the fire
It makes me ache to see you two
Your sickness- my desire.
My world has shifted when I met you
I just wanted you to let me in
Let me get close and let my ghosts
That landed ice in my eyes with their lies
Let them go
Let them go
Your love is my sick desire
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VARYA Austin, New York
"Oh them rivers, running blind and heartless. Let me run with them. Don't let me drown in these still waters."
~
I carve words and melodies out of feelings.
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